Dennis had an interesting experience in my house yesterday. We recently started a tradition where he would come over to my house on Mondays and we'd have dinner with the old woman and then watch Boardwalk Empire, because he doesn't have HBO at home. The fact the old woman refuses to watch BE with us is another interesting story... She said the sex scenes are too graphic and she can't watch them with me. So a week or so ago you tell me to get probed in the butt and today you can't watch fake sex on TV if I am in the room? Whatev. So back to the point... Dennis couldn't make it this Monday, so we changed it to Tuesday instead. He lives in the Northeast, so I suggested that he goes right to my house and takes a nap or something until I get home. He did just that and guess what he found??
He found the old woman on her usual spot on the couch and she was watching the TV in the way someone would watch someone giving birth, like a bundle of nerves. He also said that her hair was sticking up all over the place and she looked like the Big Bad Wolf. He approached her with caution and said something along the lines of "Gram, are you okay?" To which she replied in a frazzled way "I have been trying to watch this movie for 4 hours! The phone rang a thousand times and then people were at the door! The plane crashed and that woman is pretending to hold her baby!" and Dennis backed away from her slowly and ran up to my room, where he discovered a body pillow in his normal place on the bed. Dennis thinks it's just awesome that I keep a pillow in his spot when he's not there and decided to pose with it and send me a picture. He didn't mention that my grandma was having a mental breakdown about watching a movie and a plane crash until he picked me up from work. He told me I would have to see her state myself.
I walked in the door and she was sitting on the couch again looking a mess, but dinner was on the table. After she told me how hard it was to watch the movie with everyone bugging her, I informed her that she could easily just turn off the phone. To that she gave me an evil glare and said she could never do that. This is where I protest. She turns that phone off EVERY time my nemesis takes a nap and I have often thought she was dead because I didn't realize she'd have the baby that day. So I told her that I don't feel bad for her and I ate my delicious salad with chicken and watched Boardwalk Empire. I can't feel sorry for someone that loves a baby more than me and more than herself even. Pffffft.
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